Thursday, October 18, 2007

Cycling Fashion Faux Pas # 23

Cycling Fashion Faux Pas # 23. Wearing tights underneath your baggy shorts. I don't know about you, but at the beginning of the cold season, I have a hard time getting back into tights. I wouldn't mind so much if I was riding directly from home or meeting at the trailhead with a bunch of other cyclists, but most of my rides begin at the office. This means I need to change in the restroom, and then walk through the office in what appears to the untrained eye to be black leotards. Luckily I work in a basement, but still I slink through the office and abscond through the basement door to avoid both detection and ridicule.

Today was the first day that was cold enough for tights. I was feeling self conscious about the whole thing, so I thought I'd wear my baggy shorts over the top so I didn't look weird. I basically traded the "night at the Nutcracker Suite" look for the "cookie baking Keebler Elf" look. At least my co-workers wouldn't be able to identify my religion while walking through the office...

It took some planning to get this ensemble to work. The tights aren't padded, so I wore some cycling shorts as the base layer. Next came the tights, followed by the baggy shorts which have a inner liner complete with a chamois. My undercarriage had more layers than a Taco Bell burrito!

The moral of this story? Baggies over tights isn't fooling anyone. The people who think your tights look silly, also think you look silly in your baggies over tights. Just suck it up and wear those tights proudly!

15 comments:

Brent said...

You have forgotten one important factor in this. Your package stays much warmer with that extra layer. I have gone both ways and will always go both ways depending on the weather. Don't let close minded people dictate your ride. I say screw both crowds in this matter and do what makes you most comfy on the bike. In the end that is all that truly matters.

bluecolnago said...

good one, jeff. lmao!

Smudgemo said...

Yeah, what Brent said. You must learn to revel in your weirdness. Remember that for most people to wear the same thing, the result would be weird AND gross.
Try adding a vintage pair of Gargoyle shades circa 1983, a beer helmet and some flour-orange hunter's mittens to the mix. Nobody will notice your tights.

Xd said...

go with the foil-wrapped cucumber next time, ala derek smalls from spinal tap and strut on by the steno pool.

oldmanandhisbike said...

This is hilarious post because I have encountered the same issues when I commute to work. We only have one way out of the building and you have to walk past everyone in the office from the locker room to the door. Just wearing lycra bike shorts I am the source of ridicule and scorn the entire way.
I agree with Smudgemo, it would be scary to see some in the office wearing the same outfit, but I typically am the only one doing it. And it is even tougher to avoid detection because many here work later than 5 and I am typically pushing my bike along which make me even easier to spot.
The only comment I would make on your outfit is too many layers. Why not skip the tights and go to knee warmers or leggings so you would only have to put the shorts under the baggies. I know knee warmers can be a bit odd looking too but I am more concerned about the multiple layers smashing Jimmy and the Twins in the riding position! :^)

Chris said...

Agreed. Is it uncool to mtb in tight lycra now adays? When I was MTBing, that was all we wore.

Tim said...

As much as I hate to join a conversation about my "package" with a guy who proudly says he has "gone both ways and will always go both ways" I gotta go with Brent on this one!

Besides, I figure I look like a dumbass in tights OR baggies, so I just give up and combine them once in awhile.

lauren said...

isn't that like wearing diapers? with all that extra padding?

what about knickers? not the lycra type knickers, but the baggy type knickers with the shorts inside.

they come down to just above your ankles. And if it's really cold, i wear knee warmers or leg warmers under and then wool socks.

this is all so that you still look good of course.

Brent said...

If suckas hate, let em hate. It ain't a fasion show peeps...

I get hassled all the time at work. I just smile and think to myself, "I'm going for a ride, they're going to get fat(ter)."

I work with a guy who used to wrestle in HS give me static one day. I said, "This from a guy who used to roll around on a mat with other sweaty boys while wearing a singlet..." Everyone within earshot laughed their collective asses off. Shut him right up.

Tim... get your lovin where you can, bro.

Marcus said...

Classic. That is so funny! I get lots of funny looks coming out of my office to. People are used to it now. I cant wear the baggies. They get hung up on the seat too easy.

Jeff said...

I haven't got much flack at my new job, but I used to at the old place. I'd just tell them I was off to fight for truth, justice, and the American way. Most superheros wear tights after all.

Way too much padding that day! It was like tourniquet diapers!

I like the idea of knickers. Like the longer ones that were mentioned. The shorter ones seem like they have a short life around here. It's real hot, fall for a couple weeks, and then gets real cold. I really just need to go out and find something nice. I have some old Pricepoint specials that are just a step above pantyhose. I have some tights for super cold weather that fit a bit loose, and I have no problem walking around in those.

I'll post on what I find!

Brent said...

The loose type are the answer for those looking to avoid ridicule...

Marcus said...

I used to get ridiculed when working in the auto shop in Napa, way back in the mid 90's. A mechanic and I were training for a race " The sugarpine Classic" which was renamed by the comedic cast of characters at the shop as the " Sugar Shorts Classic"

bryan said...

Nobody gives me crap when I roll into work because they're all fat-asses. They're the ones who say, "so you ride, what, two or three miles in? you're a trooper."

Right. It's 14.5, and you drove from your house six blocks away.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry be happy, I wear tights and baggies on top and it's comfortable and warm.

Lets face wearing track pants tucked into white socks is fashion here LOL